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A phone date brought up a very interesting discussion last night. Is it just guys who prefer bottom line and get-to-the-point communication or are women also joining the ?keep it quick? team? I asked the question of my network; ?Has anyone else noticed a change in the nature of storytelling (and communication) since our culture has adopted texting, IM and short media?? In the conversation that followed several theories came up as to cause and effect ranging from Sesame Street attention span shrinkage to our inability to just sit and ?Be? ? un-distracted by all the stimuli surrounding us.
So, what does this have to do with dating and mating? I?ve noticed over the years an increase in people over-riding each other in conversation, asking each other to get to the point, completely checking out when the other person is talking and I?m wondering, is it the storytellers that need to get with the program or perhaps the get-to-the-point crew can slow down and give others time to tell the tale? Or perhaps its an environment thing? At work, get to the point and at play or on a date relax and let the tale unfold?
The Irish in me hates to tell a storyteller to curtail the tale but I?m certainly not immune to society?s expectation to get to the punch line and wait for someone to ask for more details if they are interested. Sometimes I?ll find myself in the middle of a story and literally see the other person?s eye start to glaze over. Believe me, I find a way to wrap that puppy up in two sentences or less since what?s the point of telling a story when you have no audience? (And I?m not even a long-winded story type!)
So what?s the answer? Do we cave to the pressure and bottom line it even when at play? Do we re-learn how to listen to each other and just enjoy the process? Do you think this change is here to stay and our culture is just moving away from the oral tradition that our forbears embraced? Is this something that needs to be considered as you go through the dating and mating process? ?Hummm, she tells way to many details in her stories. I can see myself hiding at the office instead of coming home to hear how and what the puppy threw up on the sofa.?
What will this change do to our ability to remember details and grasp a concept if we begin to skip the details that undergird the punch line/opinion/point? Are we losing out on opportunities to get to know each other better by essentially asking the other person to skip what they think is important/entertaining/educational/funny/necessary? My phone date said that its precisely because he listens intently to every point that he loses patience by the end of a long-winded tale because he begins to wonder if there is a point or even a reason he should know each detail introduced. I can totally understand his frustration? especially when you run into a story teller that wanders every corridor of their mind, producing a stream of consciousness affect that will make even the most patient person crazy.
What do you think? Are you a frustrated and mute storyteller or do you just collect drinking friends and wait till the liquor is flowing before launching into your tale?
